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Just another current affairs journal for today. In August, our Internet died and, since I'm a complete Internet freak, my mother blamed me. The evidence? I'd been pressing the 'Cancel' button on the connection programme. 'You've confused it.' She said.

Now, there are two things wrong with this. For one, how can you confuse a computer!? A computer is a machine and has NO human emotions, I'll probably make it cry by pressing the 'shut down' button next. Plus, did Mr Gates deliberately put the 'Cancel' button on there so helpless teenagers could break it? This is some cracked-up conspiracy to encourage parents to tell off their children more, I think. Curse you, Microsoft! Then again, the computer probably does it have in for me ever since I installed Firefox. I guess Microsoft have a way of rebelling when you don't install their products.

Yes, that was sarcasm.

In related news, my grandmother got a VCR when I was five. It was a messy period for her, she was randomly recording stuff because she knew she could now. Sky+, eat your heart out! Blind Date, Brookside, The Fugitive, those Terry's Chocolate Adverts with the woman in the landurette... She recorded it. After using about five 3 hour cassettes, I decided to have a go. I picked up the remote and since the Pause button looked SO interesting, I tried to press it. Of course, I got a smack for my troubles.

'Don't press that, you'll break it!' my grandmother snapped. She also gave me additional orders not to press the fast forward or rewind buttons.

I was thinking 'Jesus Christ, do the people who make these things put these buttons here as a tool for more bollocking and smacks?'. Anyway, once the DVD player graced the country. I smashed the thing with the garden spade, for all the times it was the core of my suffering. Then, the healing started.